« By this admission, the Church, consulted through the formators, officially recognises our vocation » explains Benoit: « from now on, the decision to respond is in our hands ». The admission « marks an acceleration » and Benoit admits to being taken by vertigo as he sees the ordination approaching, and recognises that it is not totally given. « But you have to stay in God’s time and tell yourself that you don’t come out of the seminary perfect, » he continues. In order to apply for admission, the seminarians had to write a letter to don Paul. This letter allowed them to ask themselves the right questions before this crucial step. Don Paul answered them and « the whole Church through his voice », rejoices the newly admitted.
The approach of this stage aroused apprehension in Benoit, who had already been marked, the year before by « Don Paul’s call to each candidate when being called by his first name, and by the response of each one: ‘Here I am’. But at the same time, a great serenity remains: admission is the first concrete outcome of the vocation to the seminary, and this does not go without a greater abandonment to God: « I go forward as I am, seeing more and more that I am unworthy. »
From this fourth year onwards, formation in the seminary evolves. The study of the sacraments and other theological courses are more directly related to the ministry of the priest. « Seminary training is a real gift, » says Benoit, who feels deeply fulfilled this year. « Although it can be hard at times, I desire more and more to serve the Church, » says Benoit, a service that will involve proclaiming Christ, with a great deal of thanksgiving for « seeing that Christ makes people come to us, priests and seminarians. The other change is even more concrete: the wearing of the cassock in the choir, that is to say during the Mass and the services. « If you had seen my face when I tried it on! « smiles Benoit. « It felt strange to wear this sign of Christ on me. And then it’s not comfortable… it’s hot… no need to make up crosses with it! But it’s a very nice sign to show to the brothers, to the people of God and to non-Christians. You can be identified as a future pastor. «
With this step towards the priesthood, « I must become more and more a pastor. This idea makes me tremble and at the same time feel a lot of joy. It is a great joy to see God’s action in us and to imagine God’s grace at work in the hearts of all the people entrusted to us.
